Sunday, June 26, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Monday, January 03, 2011
Friday, December 10, 2010
Perhaps the worst zombie film ever?
One thing I noticed inrecent months--Vampires seem to be on the wane somewhat, and zombies are back in a BIG way!
I recently had the displeasure of viewing Autumn, perhaps not omly the crappiest zombie movie ever made, but a good contestant in the running for worst overall movie ever made, too! This film is an adaptation of the first installment of a series of zombie novels by an author named David Moody. That's all I know, that's all I need to know. I won't go near it. Anyway, who wants to read a zombie novel, anyway? 95% of the fun is to watch the f/x team work their magic in zombie makeup, gore, and zombies getting their heads blown off!
Where do I start? OK, the first thing I noticed is that Dexter Fletcher is in it, from "Band of Brothers" and the awesome submarine thriller, "Below". After seeing this, I do hope he fired his agent. He gave an OK performance, but really, the movie was so bad it made him look sucky, rather than he bring the film up.
Next, the graphic on the DVD case, and if I remember correctly (I'm really trying to block out these wasted 2 hours of my life), the menu screen, showed a matte painting of the NYC skyline, complete with a collapsed Brooklyn Bridge. Cool, huh? I watch "Life After People" on the History Channel just for this kinda thing. Where was that scene in "Autumn"? Good question. Almost as good as the question "Where is this set--America or England?" The answers to both questions being: A) No where in the film whatsoever, and B) Who freakin cares?.
The entire film is full of poor choices--artistically, dramatically, and cinematographically. The acting was dreadful, even Dexter Fletcher's (sorry, Dex!) The camera shots, especially toward the end of the movie, looked like a film student experimenting with a new camera, andf trying out EVERY SINGLE FEATURE. The inclusion of David Carradine in this pic makes me curious... is this why he killed himself? The three minutes of screentime for the late Mr. Carradine is not only forgettable, but if it were his last film, a pathetic legacy to leave behind.
Nowhere in the film was the word "zombie"; "meat-suits" was their cute moniker for the undead in this film. Use it once or twice, OK. Use the phrase countless times throughout the movie, and it turns sucky along with the rest of the film.
So, in summation, if you like zombie movies, and have 2 hours to kill, avoid this film and watch "Zombieland" one more time.
I recently had the displeasure of viewing Autumn, perhaps not omly the crappiest zombie movie ever made, but a good contestant in the running for worst overall movie ever made, too! This film is an adaptation of the first installment of a series of zombie novels by an author named David Moody. That's all I know, that's all I need to know. I won't go near it. Anyway, who wants to read a zombie novel, anyway? 95% of the fun is to watch the f/x team work their magic in zombie makeup, gore, and zombies getting their heads blown off!
Where do I start? OK, the first thing I noticed is that Dexter Fletcher is in it, from "Band of Brothers" and the awesome submarine thriller, "Below". After seeing this, I do hope he fired his agent. He gave an OK performance, but really, the movie was so bad it made him look sucky, rather than he bring the film up.
Next, the graphic on the DVD case, and if I remember correctly (I'm really trying to block out these wasted 2 hours of my life), the menu screen, showed a matte painting of the NYC skyline, complete with a collapsed Brooklyn Bridge. Cool, huh? I watch "Life After People" on the History Channel just for this kinda thing. Where was that scene in "Autumn"? Good question. Almost as good as the question "Where is this set--America or England?" The answers to both questions being: A) No where in the film whatsoever, and B) Who freakin cares?.
The entire film is full of poor choices--artistically, dramatically, and cinematographically. The acting was dreadful, even Dexter Fletcher's (sorry, Dex!) The camera shots, especially toward the end of the movie, looked like a film student experimenting with a new camera, andf trying out EVERY SINGLE FEATURE. The inclusion of David Carradine in this pic makes me curious... is this why he killed himself? The three minutes of screentime for the late Mr. Carradine is not only forgettable, but if it were his last film, a pathetic legacy to leave behind.
Nowhere in the film was the word "zombie"; "meat-suits" was their cute moniker for the undead in this film. Use it once or twice, OK. Use the phrase countless times throughout the movie, and it turns sucky along with the rest of the film.
So, in summation, if you like zombie movies, and have 2 hours to kill, avoid this film and watch "Zombieland" one more time.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Aaaargh!
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.'
'What do you mean?' said the pirate, 'I feel fine.'
Bartender: 'What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.'
Pirate: 'Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.'
Bartender: 'Well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?'
Pirate: 'We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight.
My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.'
Bartender: 'What about that eye patch?'
Pirate: 'Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye.'
Bartender: 'You're kidding, you lost an eye just from bird shit?'
Pirate: 'It was my first day with the hook.'
'What do you mean?' said the pirate, 'I feel fine.'
Bartender: 'What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.'
Pirate: 'Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.'
Bartender: 'Well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?'
Pirate: 'We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight.
My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.'
Bartender: 'What about that eye patch?'
Pirate: 'Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye.'
Bartender: 'You're kidding, you lost an eye just from bird shit?'
Pirate: 'It was my first day with the hook.'
Monday, April 07, 2008
Charlton Heston, a great American
I was really saddened by the loss of Charlton Heston. Not only was he a great actor, and a film legend, but he represented all that was good about America. For the Planet Shoehead portion of my blog-world, he was Taylor in "Planet of the Apes", and he was the leading man in "Soylent Green" and "The Omega Man" These were seminal films in developing me into the sci-fi geek I was to become.
So a hearty, thanks Mr. Heston! You were an amazing person...
So a hearty, thanks Mr. Heston! You were an amazing person...
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